born of silence

absent

2008-10-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

Is there life somehwere?
Is there somewhere where there isn’t
Life
Or death
Or the coming together of every single thing
In the cosmos?
Past and present
And future, whatever that means.
Fermented grape juice
Runs through my bloodstream
Which isn’t even really mine
Because i am in charge of nothing
Because i am not
And everything just is.
In its way.
And no other.

When i’m not busy asking myself
Silly questions
I can see that the absolute absence of answers is
Perfection.

Some Fill With Each Good Rain - Algunos se Llenan con Cada Lluvia

2008-10-13T20:30:00.001-07:00

A poem by Hafiz interpreted by Daniel Ladinsky, translated by me.
(versión en español más abajo)

SOME FILL WITH EACH GOOD RAIN

There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that.

In one well
You have just a few precious cups of water,
That "love" is literally something of yourself,
It can grow as slow as a diamond
If it is lost.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a
Stranger,
Only to someone
Who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

There are different wells within us.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far, far too deep
For that.

ALGUNOS SE LLENAN CON CADA LLUVIA

Hay varios pozos dentro de tu corazón.
Algunos se llenan con cada lluvia buena,
Hay otros que son demasiado profundos para eso.

En un pozo
Solamente tienes unas pocas tazas preciosas,
Ese "amor" es literalmente algo de ti mismo,
Puede crecer tan lento como un diamante
Si se pierde.

Tu amor
Nunca debería ofrecerse a la boca de un
Desconocido,
Sólo a alguien
Que tenga el valor y el coraje
Para sacarse pedazos de su alma con un cuchillo
Y luego, con ellos, tejer una manta
Para protegerte.

Hay varios pozos dentro de nosotros.
Algunos se llenan con cada buena lluvia,
Hay otros que son demasiado, demasiado profundos
Para eso.

descanso

2008-09-29T21:04:00.001-07:00

la mar busca
donde descansar
sus olas fatigadas
pero no encuentra
orilla que la acobije...
todo es temporal
y así no más
tiene que seguir
fluyendo.

fue

2008-09-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

el cambio se viene
como una ola imparable,
maremoto.

he corrido todo lo que pude,
intentado escapar por donde fuera;
me alcanzó.

creando...

2008-09-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

la magia viaja conmigo
me envuelve
como una manta
de luz que
da luz
a mi camino,
y camino entre las estrellas
pisando firme la tierra.
me pierdo en el universo
y me encuentro en todos
y todas partes.

hablo con las plantas
en un diálogo muy interior
de mi y de ellas
y compartimos un rato
tiradas en el suelo
estiradas hacia el cielo.

bailo con los animales;
me enseñan a correr y dejar correr
mis intuiciones
instinto divino
instante vivido.

y entre humanos,
creamos
amor.

abrir

2008-09-01T13:21:00.000-07:00

La mente religiosa
El bien y el mal

Queremos límites porque fluir es demasiado libre. Buscamos los límites como niños, pero buscar en el sentido de averiguar si es que existen, no de encontrar dónde están. Pero entonces se convierte en encontrar límites en todas partes, nos queremos limitar, ordenar. Ordenar el caos se ordena.

La mente obliga al cuerpo instintual a ordenarse. Entonces tengo una experiencia mísitca y despues hago reglas para volver a eso - VOLVER! - como si eso siquiera fuera posible! Es ridículo. Entonces hago reglas basadas en lo que vi en ese momento y en el miedo de perder algo (que ya se fue) y las sigo...
orden...
para contestar las preguntas
o porque creo que me (nos) conduce a algo mejor

Es como un desenvolvemiento que sólo se puede observar, no dirigir.
Una flor que se abre
A su tiempo y forma
Influenciada por una infinidad de factores
Entonces te abres y simultaneamente te ves abrir

Cuando comienzas a juzgarte, comienzas a juzgar a los demás.

Me resisto a decir "plan" porque no creo que sea premeditado, pero hay algo impulsando todo esto y sólo hacemos nuestro papel, o él nos hace... somos inseparables de él, nos forma. Somos nuestra historia, en carne y hueso. Somos nuestro propósito, no es independiente de nosotros. Nuestro propósito es el ser, y creo que no tenemos control...

Tuve mi propia mini-religion, que nació de una experiencia hermosa, efímera, y para que se repita intento recrear las circunstancias. En ese momento, algunas cosas eran Verdaderas para mí, entonces me aferro a ellas y reprimo el Ahora, mi tan querido instante eterno. Y creo reglas que me confunden. Creo que el proceso de toda religión es parecido.

Y es así que
de a poco se van cerrando los ojos.

Cartagena (Chile)

2008-06-27T21:04:00.001-07:00

Oh! Cartagena,
Esqueleto de ciudad
Ruinas de humanidad
El misterio de tu costa;
Por qué te han abandonado
Tus hijos?

Llenos de esperanzas
Han cambiado tus
Aires maravillosos
Tus olas fieles
El laberinto de tus calles
Un cielo lleno de estrellas
Por la promesa de plata
Y una nube de humo

No pretendo entenderles o no
Por algo se han marchado
Ahora sólo queda
La juventad, la vejez
Y el mar que, incansable, se renueva.

exhausted

2008-06-20T22:40:00.000-07:00

i live in a world of nostalgia
in memories - ego - of things
once present
coming and going
looking for something with
eyes closed;
censoring

back to a different square
where things are not quite the same
and i am reluctant to
use the word "i."

as soon as i think of the future,
i see images of the past
and when i remember things past,
i project them into the future,
which leaves me feeling as if i had
a very busy day
of running back and forth.

Gregory Colbert - Ashes and Snow - Feather to Fire

2008-05-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

the price of pleasure

2008-02-18T09:47:00.001-08:00

"Weaning" isn't good enough.

Hershey's is "weaning" itself from child labor.
Buy fair trade chocolate.

View entire slideshow.

the beauty of what's around

2008-01-03T16:29:00.000-08:00

daybreak

2007-11-26T15:40:00.000-08:00

i am like

daybreak.

ever so slowly

i am filling

with

light.

here

2007-11-26T15:37:00.000-08:00

smoldering in this feeling
of oneness
this oneness of oneness
ecstatic from head to toe
and everywhere else
freedom looks out
from behind my eyes
light leaves through
my palms
melting melting

no desire for
philosophical dissertations
the joy of limiting the soul
mental masturbation
blindly chasing after
words
crafted from light

the words are
stagnant.
immoble.
like gas station clerks
i ask them for directions
you're already HERE.

the danger of the guru

2007-10-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

anytime you accept anything as your guru - buddha, jesus, a teacher, a mountain, the Earth, ancestors - you are giving up your own light and power. you must succumb to who they are, how they are, what they say, and your every thought turns to them. you can not be in the here and now if you are thinking of someone else, somewhere else and you will never find your own truth, or your own path to truth.

enlightened beings are not the answer, just a finger pointing in the direction. use them, break yourself down, but know when to walk away and look within (now).

everyone talks about jesus this, buddha that, so-and-so says this, a bird is like that, but once you start depending on these things, you lose the possibility of enlightenment. you are accepting that they are someone you can never be who has been places you can never go and seen things you will never see.

it is a glamorous idea to give up everything and follow a guru but you are just trading your ego for theirs, trading your searching for their answers.

it is not the same for me to tell you water is wet as for you to jump in the ocean.

the Truth lies not within but not without, in it there is no within or without, but each person can be a vessel for Truth... but only if each person is present - you can't follow someone into that place and trying to do so is dispersing your energy and yourself :: breaking apart the vessel.

the urge for discovery

2007-10-27T14:24:00.001-07:00

the urge for discovery
coincides with an ability to
influence and change the material
world.

how can one be born so totally unaware of his state?
wrong question.
one has no state. no "nature."

we pick our gods and dress them up name them and give them personalities which we change based on our desires - collective agreement - from creationism to evolution to intelligent design.

why do you wait

2007-10-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

why do you wait for a
guru
to tell you who you are?

once again in a simple second
i lose my boundaries
and loosen my soul

the mind is a trap
confined in the physical

there...
between the seer and the seen

silence

2007-10-27T14:14:00.005-07:00

in silence
all day
contemplating silently
all night

silently returning to
a source.

nothing is forever
means
something is.

still

2007-10-27T14:13:00.003-07:00

alone in the world
alone in my silence

everyone is coming and going
coming and going
whirlwind

i stand, still
in the middle of a crowded street
no one notices

no one notices
a tree

in a world of movement,
only movement

spinning and spinning
faster, faster

i slowly grind
to a
halt.

what if

2007-10-27T14:09:00.001-07:00

we live in a world built based on the suffering of others, of their toil and petty compensation.

those who struggle to survive are the ones who are keeping us alive, feeding our habits and bodies.

and this can be because we
are unable to relate to each
other (don't even mention animals and plants)
separated by barriers of history,
language, "culture," religion, fear

everything is a result of circumstances.
every name, "person," is a result as well.
of culture, family, genes
and we give these circumstances
meaning through gods
they can't possibly be random

what if random and purpose are nothing
but creations of our egos as well?
like good and bad. it's not that it's
"random" but it also was not "done"
or created with a motivation. it just ____.

why are you looking

2007-10-27T14:08:00.001-07:00

why are you looking
when there is nothing to be found?
maybe someone should look for you

i set my mind to fast
but in this bliss
i reach for the sweetest thing i can find
and metabolize it into Love

no knowing

2007-10-27T14:06:00.002-07:00

in this waking life
i don't know what to do
when the mind is quiet
there is no knowledge
no knower

everything seems foreign
i do not understand it
yet it is a part of us

we are one
no parts
no parting
always unified
no unity
without separation, how can somethings
come together?

the courage to die
mystics wrote the scriptures!
they can not be taken at face value
instead, find the scripture that is not written
anywhere
one source, many poets
all swaying in the same breeze
all blowing

now i vanish
and float away from nowhere

in the morning we glow...

2007-10-27T14:06:00.001-07:00

in the morning we glow...
arise arise.
what to do in this ecstasy
Be.

god entering god

2007-10-27T14:05:00.001-07:00

barefoot i connect disconnect recollect
drumming bum bum
feeli--

and at once i am bathed in
light
honey
god surrounding god
infinity realizing

god sits on the bed
and here's god come into
the room
god entering god
god writes about godself

coherent incoherence

2007-10-27T14:02:00.000-07:00

illusion illusory the mind flowing
river talk write faster shooting go
away flow freedom through me
empty breeze blow
mind everywhere
coherent incoherence

mind mind not crazy dying
goodbye enter God enter Nothing
enter Emptiness leave no entrance
inside and outside the same no
entrance no movement
is
everything and nothing
no poems of longing
is
in this moment
no more places
no longing
is
the realization
of nothing. ness.

not ours

2007-10-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

at a loss for words in the face of the loss of humanity, of the destruction of our brothers and sisters by our brothers and sisters and ourselves.

solution? to the unsolvable problem; how to make people realize that they are not the most important. that their needs do not supercede the needs of others. that this is not a sinking ship and we do not have to be in survival mode.

cycles of violence... in homes, ghettos, countries... physical, emotional, economical. religion is one of the main problems; self-serving "we are right and you are wrong" violence perpetuating. imposing beliefs and ways of life onto people. something false, created, and you are taught to believe it so much that you will die and kill and maim and rape for it.

no one wants to be perturbed shaken out of their bubbles. me either. i want the comfort of monasteries, believing in reincarnation and the lethargic evolution of the soul of mankind.

but in the meantime...
our actions have direct consequences on everyone else. we can't pretend that things spearate us anymore. only a fool thinks he does not depend on anyone else in this world. and our riches and luxury and comforts are enjoyed at the price of decent living for the rest of the world.

we tie ourselves to fake institutions of countries and governments and enconomy and let them spearate us even furthur. obsess over traditions and customs and insist that these things make us different from one another. when, in reality, our customs are only different ways of expressing and repressing the same things.

such small minds and mentalities. i can not only see a part; i see the seething, interconnected whole. others will not be bothered with the whole and instead wish to deceive themselves, believing that their part is the whole... not the whole, but an island, isolated from the rest.

and so the cycle continues.

we hear news of a holocaust and refuse to believe its real. because that would mean giving up our egocentric self-serving lifestyles and putting ourselves on the line for a problem that is "not ours."

soul searcher

2007-10-27T13:44:00.001-07:00

soul searcher
late at night
spinning spirals
weaving visions
light
future
art
a breaking
breakthrough